Facts About Sexual Abuse and Suicide
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*  Sexual touching and fondling

*  Exposing children to adult sexual activity or pornographic movies and/ or photographs.

*  Having children pose, undress or perform in a sexual fashion on film or in person.

*  "Peeping" into bathrooms or bedrooms to spy on children.

*  Rape or attempted rape.

*   1 in every 3 girls and 1 in every 4 guys are abused by the age of 18.

*   Almost always the offender is a Male. He will molest an average of 17 youngsters, most of whom do not report the offense. The victim is likely to be a boy or girl that the offender knows.

*   Approximately 35% of women and 20% of men in the US were victims of sexual abuse as children.

*   85% of child abuse takes place with a family member or friend in the home.

*   Child Sexual abuse is reported up to 80,000 times a year, but the number of unreported instances is far greater, because the children are afraid to tell, and the legal procedure for validating the episode is difficult.

*   Almost all of the children will be abused by someone they know and trust: a family member, family friend, or a caretaker. 

*   The abuse often begins gradually (fondling) and increases over time.

*   Incestious behavior is not confined to sexual intercourse. Incest can include nudity, disrobing, genital exposure, kissing, fondling, digital penetration, and sodomy.

*   Incest survives on secrecy. Most victims feel isolated from the rest of the world. The effects of incest are devastating. Short-term ones include behavioral problems, addictions, sexual promiscuity, and a sudden drop in grades. Long-term effects include anxiety, chronic depression, sleep disorders,
addictions, low self-esteem, suicidal urges, feelings of isolation, shame and guilt, and difficulty with sex and relationships.

People usually attempt suicide to block unbearable emotional pain, which is caused by a wide variety of problems. It is often a cry for help. A person attempting suicide is often so depressed that they are unable to see that they have other options: We can help prevent a tragedy by endeavoring to understand how they feel and helping them to look for better choices that they could make. Suicidal people often feel terribly isolated, because they distrust, they may not think of anyone they can turn to ...... which furthers the isolation.

*Significant changes in:
- Relationships
- Well being of self of family members
- Body image
- Job, school, university, home, locality
- Financial situation
- World environment

*Significant losses in:
- Death of a loved one- Loss of a valued relationship
- Loss of self-esteem or personal expectations
- Loss of employment
*Perceived abuse:
- Physical
- Emotional/Psychological
- Sexual
- Social
- Neglect

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What can be done?

Suicidal people, like all of us, need love, understanding and care.

People usually don't ask "are you feeling so bad that you're thinking about suicide?" directly. Those contemplating suicide are usually holding in these feelings which will make the thoughts stronger and increases the feelings of isolation and increases the likelihood that they may actually make the attempt.

Asking if they are feeling suicidal opens the door for them and can have the effect that they are given the permission to feel the way they do....which reduces their isolation and they may feel that someone is actually listening and cares and can understand how they are feeling.

If someone you know tells you that they feel suicidal, above all...LISTEN to them.  Then listen some more.  Tell them "I don't want you to die".  Try to make yourself available to hear about how they feel, and try to form a "no-suicide contract" with them.  Ask them to promise you that they won't attempt suicide or anything that would be self destructive until they can contact you or someone else who can give them some support.

Some who may be able to help could be: a doctor, community health center, counselor, psychologist, social worker, youth pastor, youth worker, minister....etc.  If they appear acutely suicidal and won't talk, you may need to get them to a hospital emergency department or tell an adult you can trust.

The effects of Suicide on those left behind

Suicide is often extremely traumatic for the friends and family members that remain (the survivors), even though people who attempt suicide often think that no-one cares about them.  In addition to the feelings of grief normally associated with a person's death, there may be guilt, anger, resentment, remorse, confusion and great distress over unresolved issues.  The stigma surrounding suicide can make it extremely difficult for survivors to deal with their grief and can cause them also to feel terribly isolated.

Survivors often find that people relate differently to them after the suicide, and may be very reluctant to talk about what has happened for fear of condemnation.  They often feel like a failure because someone they cared so much about has chosen to commit suicide, and may also be fearful of forming any new relationships or renewing a relationship with someone who has tried to commit suicide.

It's quite likely that some people that read this will one day attempt suicide, so here's a quick suicide prevention exercise: Think of a list of 5 people who you might talk to if you had no-one else to turn to, starting with the most preferred person at the top of the list.  Form a "no-suicide contract" with yourself.... promising that if you ever feel suicidal you will go to each of the people on the list in turn. And that you will tell them how you feel; and that if someone didn't listen, you'll just keep going until you find someone that will. Many who attempt suicide are so distressed that they can't see anywhere to turn in the midst of a crisis, so having thought beforehand and having a list of people to turn to with a plan of action could be of great help!